Clam Jam by R.C. Boldt
Genre: romantic comedy
Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block.
Example: You’re chatting with a guy you’re interested in and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.
That’s my life—except it’s worse. My friend who keeps “jamming” me is my gay roommate and if that isn’t a W.T.F. moment, I’m not sure what is.
Fact: He went home with three—yes, three—of the guys I had been so sure were into me.
Fact: He’s really pissing me off. I mean, hello? I’m trying to get back in the saddle, but I’ll never manage to get a boyfriend before the age of fifty if he keeps this up.
Fact: Secretly, I wonder what it would be like if he weren’t gay. Why do all the hot, sweet, tender-hearted guys have to be gay.
Fact: My gay-dar needs a serious tune-up.
The day I interviewed for the room to rent, everything changed. I knew I had met “the girl”, except there was one small problem: she didn’t want anything to do with men. I recognized a top-notch force field when I saw one. She’d been burned badly and didn’t want to deal with a heterosexual guy as a roommate. I could’ve turned around and found another place to live, but I wanted to live there—with her.
So I had to go “undercover”.
Fact: I’m in love with my roommate.
Fact: I’m a likely candidate for carpal tunnel surgery since all the action I’ve had for the past year has been my hand.
Fact: She’s going to hate me if I come clean now.
Fact: I’m not giving up. Which means, I’ll just have to continue to run defense until I figure out a way to get Maggie to see the “real” me.
The me that loves her.
The me that would never do her wrong.
Until then, I’ll keep running off every guy who shows any interest.
Until then, I’ll continue to Clam Jam.
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“Ryland James!” I bang on his bathroom door, hollering loudly. “Did you eat the last—”
The door swings open, drawing my speech to a sudden halt because … ooooh, sweet, dripping wet abs.
My eyes are riveted.
He’s got a towel wrapped around his waist, and I don’t even realize I’m moving until Ry releases a sharp hiss at my touch. Because my finger is tracing over the slight indentations in his abdominal muscles.
“Um …” He clears his throat, his voice husky and deep. “Mags?”
“Uh-huh,” I murmur absently, my fingertip stopping one of the trickling droplets of water on his skin, tracing it down over his belly button, and—
His fingers grasp my wrist, drawing my hand to a halt, and my eyes dart up to his in alarm because crap. That was like an out-of-body experience.
“Oh, crap. I’m sorry. I just really, um … crap.” That’s all I can utter. Nonsense. No one would believe I have my graduate degree if they heard me right now.
If my tongue had a voice of its own, it would probably say something like, “Just the tip. That’s all I want.” The tip of my tongue tracing over Ry’s abs, that is. You know, just to prove someone Photoshopped him. Or not.
Because I’ll take one for the team. I’m a giver like that. People might even think of canonizing me as a saint after all this. Really.
Oh, and then … Abracadabra! Poof! He’d no longer be gay, profess his undying love for me, and wouldn’t ever leave me for another guy.
Wow. That scenario even sounds crazy in my head.
Shaking off my thoughts, I take one more glance down at his abs—just one more glance—and that’s when I see it.
“Oh, boy,” I breathe out. Ry is hard, tenting the towel, and I really want it to drop. Accidentally, of course. Like an “oops” moment. Totally harmless and innocent.
Oh. My. God. I’m a horrible person. I’m thinking of my roommate’s penis! My roommate who has quickly become one of my best friends.
Oh, the shame!
Where did this inner slut come from? It’s like she’s been lying in wait—for him, apparently.
But, really. I can take a little peek, right?
Who would’ve thought I’d have a best book of 2017 already picked out just six days in? And I’m terribly picky with my five star ratings.
Boldt is quickly becoming one of my one-click authors, and this is only the second of her books I’ve read. Clam Jam is the first book in a long time that I’ve actually felt entirely engrossed in, desperate to plough through to the end.
Although the plot is somewhat cliché, Boldt’s deliverance is exquisite. This book had me chuckling from start to finish, and actually squeezed my heart in various places. The friendship between Ry and Maggie was just entirely believable; it’s rare to find a book couple who honestly are just perfect for each other, without the increasingly frequent insta-love. This was a unique take, a couple (and hell, even just a friendship) to root for.
One of Boldt’s strengths in her writing is the creation of a strong and fully developed supporting cast, and the way she expresses and crafts friendships are second to none. Clam Jam was able to capitalise on that to the max, with the friendship taking centre stage as the (eventual) basis for more. And Jack and Sarah’s characters pulled me in enough for me to ask for a sequel – yes, I’m a little desperate here. I want more.
Although with the cliché plotline it’s obvious where the drama will come, Boldt one-ups this and deals with it brilliantly. The angst feels organic rather than forced, and the way it is overcome is sickeningly sweet, in the way that actually made my heart clench and gave my stomach butterflies. That’s how desperate I was for these two to push through the angst.
I went into this expecting a typical romantic comedy. Instead, beneath its hilarity, Clam Jam manages to contain all the passion and swooning of the great romance films. Combined with fully-fleshed out characters and sizzling sex scenes, this is a must-read.